Ember Travels

Tasmania. The name itself is enough to conjure up images of vast wilderness, ravaging devils and untamed cavemen.  Tasmania has held mystique in my mind ever since I was introduced to the Tasmania Devil cartoon character as a kinderbop. In all rights, who wouldn’t be fascinated with a place that homes whirling dervish marsupials called devils?  The flight from Melbourne is an hour long puddle jump and costs a mere $50. I wondered why more Melbournians didn’t take advantage of this and jet off on Tasmanian holidays every other weekend.  I don’t have a good answer to that question. My theory is that Melbournians are afraid of Tasmanians and their mysterious land. “Oh Tassie…that’s a special place,” was the only reply I got when telling friends of my upcoming travel plans.  To put it nicely, Tasmania falls at the bottom of Australia’s socioeconomic totem pole. To put it not so nicely, as my father quoted from an Australian man on his flight to Melbourne, “ask a Tasmania...

Let’s face it, Australian English ≠ American English.  Many words have different meanings and others simply just don’t exist. Yes, we can understand each other but their slang is strange and my slang is strange and it quite honestly makes for some awkward moments. Like the time I was trekking up a mountain side and exclaimed, “I wish I had a fanny pack right now!” I got a gaggle of chuckles and embrassed looks from my Aus buddies. Fanny does not exactly mean  fanny  here, far from it. I’ll leave the meaning for you to figure out… In my spree of honesty I am going to admit that I still occasionally have trouble understanding Australian. I’m in the middle of a conversation and someone randomly throws  arvo  or  brekky  into the middle of a sentence and my racing mind comes to a halt…what? Oh and then there’s the whole pronunciation thing  pawn  sounds like  porn ,  filet  is  fil-...

All the Americans at our Independence Day extravaganza! Photo credit: Theresa Winters Celebrating the 4th of July Aussie style.  I didn't realize what American food was until we had a USA themed potluck. I always considered it to be diverse and a mix of everything from all cultures, but there are a few distinctive classics that are strictly American:  Mac 'n Cheese Nachos Hot dogs Burgers Krispy Kreme Cornbread Brownies For the foreigners, the potluck was American FAQ time. With a room full of yanks, when better to ask your burning questions about America? Common FAQs about the US: Is it true meatloaf is a combination of like 15 meats smashed up and cooked together? Why would you ever consider grilling a hotdog? I thought they were only meant to be boiled... Aren't rootbeer floats alcoholic? Tasting Wine with Italians.  That's right, I went on a little day trip to a vineyard in er, the middle of nowhere! It ended up being me, my newly found British friend, Adrian and...

I can't believe I went 19 years of my life without tasting a single drop of coffee. "Disgusting!" was my sentiment. Then, I suddenly went from  coffeephobe to coffee snob in what seemed like overnight. This is a chronicle of my dramatic turnaround and time spent in two of the most respected coffee cities in the world.  I LOVE coffee, and Seattle is my favorite city in the United States. See a connection? I know, it's obvious, but we are talking pre-coffee snob era Ember. My love for the Emerald City extends far deeper than the mere jumble of coffee joints on every street corner and caffeine-loaded locals. The gorgeous scenery, colonial houses, better-than-Photoshop green grass and quaint neighborhoods are what did me in. But I'm not here to gaze on Seattle's beauty, I want to talk about coffee! During my ten months as a Seattleite, I became hooked on white mochas...that is with half a shot of espresso. Call me weaksauce, but you could spot me every morning wor...

I can't tell you how many times I've gotten a head tilting, baffled, inquisitive looking response from telling someone I hail from the States (or the U.S.) It has become clear that a vast majority of non-Americans don't understand our English slang. Respond with America, and they know exactly what you're talking about. Respond with California and you get some witty comment about the Governator (they all seem pretty proud to spout that fact off).  I very rarely meet a fellow American who says they hail from America. Every time that happens, I get this weird image of a hillbilly, and feel like I should switch to my best redneck accent and thrown in something about 'Merica and our shotguns and hoedowns.  Why is it that no one knows where the U.S. is? And why is it that we are Americans but not from America persay? I've got a few theories. I'd like to give a quick shout out to Amerigo Vespucci for discovering the entirety of North and South America, a bundl...

The title pretty much sums it up. This is the story of how I went from corporate ladder climbing to world traveling to intimately knowing the inner workings of a dishwasher at a sketchy cafe run by a Lebanese family. And I assure you my days were packed with a daily dose of self-aimed criticism in Arabic, family quarrels and making terrible jokes with the dreadlocked, pierced and tattooed punk-emo chef who could really care less about his job (oh you know the type of person I'm talking about). At least we could relate on one level-our jobs were treacherous and everyone else at the joint was a bit, how do I put it nicely, "off." I can't help but think of the poor Mexicans, Cubans, Chinese, etc who are respected doctors, businessmen in their countries and magically turn into taxi drivers and checkout clerks once stepping foot into the land of the free.  There's something about wanting to make it so badly in a country that you are willing to sacrifice all self-respec...

1. Abbreviate, abbreviate, abbreviate. When in doubt just cut the last few syllables out from a word and you will sound unforgettably Aus. Here are a few of the key abreves you need to learn: university=uni mosquitoes=mossies vegetables=veg breakfast=brekky Even city and tram signs for Melbourne's Queen Victoria Market read  Queen Vic Market.  If the government approves, your new Australian friends surely will too! 2. Don't forget, walk on the left. Nuff said. Try walking on the right side of the sidewalk and the Aussies burst out into a funky chicken dance sort of move trying to figure out which side you are passing them on, and they barely avoid running into you at the last minute. It seriously freaks them out. But then again, maybe you should try walking on the left side of the sidewalk in the U.S. and see what happens!  3. You don't have friends, you have  mates . 4. Voice your enthusiasm for Vegemite.  Vege-what?! It's a sodium-loaded black paste used as a ...